January 9, 2011
INTRODUCTION
· Quite often Gail ArnalL – one of my great role models -- and I talk about the joy and fulfillment we find in giving away money. When she asked me if I’d do a teaching today on giving, I immediately thought about the connection with Epiphany, which was on Thursday. This is the story we heard from Matthew – when Jesus was revealed to the magi.
· What other story do we know of where people are working so very hard to give something valuable away -- to someone they don’t know -- in a place they are not sure about? These magi traveled far with no map, on dangerous roads, with treasures they are desperate to give away. Perhaps it took them two whole years to make the journey, judging by Herod’s estimation of when the star appeared.
· Before they gave, they didn’t check with the Wise Giving Guide or the Judean Institute of Philanthropy. Once they gave their gifts away, they didn’t hang around to make sure they were used wisely. They left their gifts in the capable hands of Mary and Joseph on behalf of Jesus – and we never hear from them again. Did their gifts finance the trip to Egypt we hear about in the next section of Matthew? Maybe they helped pay for the education of Jesus? Did these gifts eventually provide food for Jesus and his disciples? Or, were these symbolic gifts only?
· Whatever you believe about these three valuable gifts, in this story giving is intimately tied in with worship. They worshipped Jesus by giving. I believe it’s harder – or perhaps even impossible -- for us to worship when we don’t give something.
· We all give for different reasons. I’d like to share with you some of my own personal journey:
1. Some of my core beliefs that relate to why I give.
2. How I want to respond to God because of these beliefs.
WHAT DO I BELIEVE?
1. I truly believe God loves me, and has shown that in Jesus. Who here grew up in a household of faith? I did, and knew my parents loved God. They also loved me. Knowing human love definitely helps us be able to believe in a loving God. I know people who did not grow up surrounded by love, who have had a harder time accepting love from God or anyone else. But in spite of our backgrounds and excess or lack of love, God’s love can break into our lives. This is grace.
2. I believe that grace is at the heart of the universe: the gift of unwarranted favor. Unconditional love. As the Apostle Paul says, “by grace you are saved through faith”. Since I work for the denomination, the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America, I have to mention that when Martin Luther preached “grace alone” was the core of the Gospel, this was considered very radical and subversive at the time.
Grace means we are accepted whether or not we have all correct doctrines or give a certain percentage of our income. When I was little, I was more motivated by fear of hell than by love and grace. But when I became older, I put away childish ways -- and saw the awe and wonder and joy of following Jesus. I saw that by accepting love and grace, we could be transformed from within – and listen to Christ’s call on our lives.
3. I believe I am blessed. This does not mean that my life is always rosy, or that there have never been nor ever will be any hardships. I do not believe God is a magic shield or talisman that protects me from danger. Believing I am blessed does not mean I think I am more special than other people God loves throughout the world. I know God loves people living in abject poverty as much as God loves me, living in upper-middle-class Montgomery County.
Being blessed does not guarantee me a job or a house, true love, clear skin, obedient and smart children, or good health for my loved ones, my dog, or for me. By believing I am blessed, this does not mean I close my eyes to the evil or darkness in the world. I believe the greatest blessing I’ve received is to know that I am blessed. Yes, this seems like circular logic. But everyone is not able to see the blessings in life. This is a gift.
4. I believe I can choose to accept God’s love and grace in my life, and choose to see blessings. I believe our choices are important to our mental health, our world view, and our being able to give joyfully from our resources – such as money, time, or abilities. I believe these choices can help us know true joy in our lives.
HOW DO I WANT TO RESPOND TO THESE BELIEFS?
1. How do I want to respond to love?
· How many people have ever been in love? What does one do for one’s beloved? Anything in one’s power! Stay up late, make special dinners, write poetry, drive hundreds of miles to see the beloved, make Christmas gifts, spend hours on the phone or on Facebook. People in love don’t begrudge the time it takes to be with the beloved. New parents don’t begrudge their new baby the cost of diapers. We joyfully use our resources for our beloved. No cost is too great. What we have is theirs also. When we give to our beloved, we don’t notice that we have less. What is ours is also theirs. We actually think we have more -- because of our great joy in giving and joy in seeing our beloved receive the gift.
· We respond to love by giving. When we truly accept God’s love, and when we are able to respond to this love, giving becomes simply an expression of who we are and our relationship.
· Without love, gifts can feel obligatory, and people can be resentful. How dare they ask for more money? How absurd for anyone to expect me to give away 10% when I’m making minimum wage and have a family to support? How dare they want me to do more? When we are able to respond out of our love for God, and not any obligation, we can feel a deep and abiding joy. Psalm 116: “Oh Lord, I am they servant; I am the servant the child of thy handmaid. Thou hast loosed my bonds.” We are servants of God based on love, not on bonds anymore.
2. How do I want to respond to grace?
· If we view the world with the mindset of grace, we see life -- love, possessions, joy, friendships – all as gifts. We live in a culture where people expect a lot. If we think everything is due to us, we do not see gifts. When we have the mentality that everything is our right or entitlement, it’s hard to see or accept grace. When someone does something nice for us, well, that was just to be expected – and it’s therefore not viewed as a gift. If we get generous gifts for Christmas or other occasions, well, they always give us those lavish presents. No big deal. How many of us have nieces, nephews, or grandchildren who expect Christmas presents but do not say “thank you”? This type of attitude can keep us from having a grateful heart.
· Do we see grace and gift in community? Look around the room here – do you really feel like each person here is a gift to you and to the entire community? I want to tell you a story about David Dorsey. I used to be intimidated by David, who has his MBA from Harvard, I believe. Back in 1982, Gordon asked me to be the first DC staff member for Money Matters, which was to help many of our Church of the Saviour non-profits with bookkeeping. I had had one accounting course at the time. This was before computers, and I worked with an old adding machine. I remember doing a financial statement for The Family Place, and David Dorsey found all sorts of errors I had made. I was terribly embarrassed. I felt David thought I was completely incompetent, and I wanted to hide from him to avoid this embarrassment.
In 1986 when our first daughter, Nancy, was born and Kirk and I were exhausted parents from working and being in school, I remember David asking what he could do that would be helpful to us. We really needed the bathtub cleaned, but were very apologetic about this. David Dorsey came over and cleaned our bathtub. This past week, with Kirk’s mom, Carol Fitch, in Rehab out at Asbury in Gaithersburg, David and Paolo Dorsey visited her. David understands that community is a gift, and is therefore a gift to others. I’m sure you know of many other examples of people here who are gifts to you. How can we each be acts of grace for one another?
· If we truly see grace, or gift, in all of life, then it’s easier for us to give to others. I was talking with a Lutheran pastor the other day, and asked him what he would say in a sermon on giving. He mentioned one of his trips to Namibia, and visiting a new and growing Lutheran congregation there. There were only walls up on the building – no roof yet – and about 1,000 people, mainly very small scale farmers, came from far and wide from nearby villages, some walking 2-3 hours. The service went 3-5 hours (slightly longer than 8th Day), with lots of singing and dancing. When it was time for the offering, there were two baskets in the front – a large one and a smaller one. To give their offerings, people dance up the aisle and put their gifts in the baskets. The large one was overflowing, the smaller one full as well. The American pastor asked the Namibian pastor what the different baskets were for. “The smaller one is for our expenses here. The larger one is for missions.”
· I believe when we accept grace into our lives, we want to give to God and others. We want to share. Perhaps it’s easier for poorer people to accept grace in their lives – because they know they can’t do it all on their own. They know they need community. Lower income people give away a higher percentage of their income than higher income people. I think it’s easier for higher income people to focus on what the amount is -- and then feel smug that they give as much as they do, even if it’s a very small percentage of what they have.
· I want to respond to grace by talking with my children about my faith and values. Our daughter, Wendy, when she was too young to realize what her parents were really like, assumed she was getting a car when she turned 16. Luckily she figured out reality before she hit that age. I want them to know what is important to me and also be able to accept grace in their own lives.
3. How do I want to respond to being blessed?
· I have lived and worked with very troubled teenagers and families here in the United States, as well as many non-profits that meet many other needs. I have lived and worked in developing countries. I have seen heartbreaking and life-threatening situations. I have seen people in very desperate situations who were able to see blessings in the midst of despair.
· Two people can have the same experiences in life. One can turn bitter and angry, and the other can see the opportunities that come out of the ashes, and see the light at the end of the tunnel. It’s not always easy. By accepting the blessings in life, we acknowledge that everything is a gift. Yes, I realize this is much harder for some people than for others. But I believe each of us has things we are thankful for – that we can count as blessings.
· For me, the main way to respond to feeling blessed is to try to be a blessing to someone else. In 1990 when I was pregnant with Wendy, I was laid off from my job. We were in the process of moving to our first house, and our monthly mortgage was going to be about three times higher than our basement apartment rent had been. I was worried about finances. Out of the clear blue we received an anonymous postal money order for $150. No note or explanation was attached. Even though I tried – and tracked the money order down to a post office in upstate New York -- I have never yet found out who sent that gift. If that person is in the room now, please accept our thanks. I have no idea if this was a large gift or a small gift for the person who gave it, but it was a very big help to us -- and brought us comfort and hope. When we were making more money, we passed this along to someone else, and that was a gift for us as well.
· Even though the financial situation where I work is very sketchy, and my job may not last beyond next year, they gave me a bonus in November. I felt grateful and blessed. And it was great fun giving a large portion of that gift away to groups that are doing important things we can’t do all on our own. Groups such as ELCA World Hunger – which is helping Haitians and tsunami victims rebuild; Sojourners; OAR where Gail works; Jubilee Jobs; Bread for the World; schools in Guatemala, etc. I like participating by giving money. I’m not saying this because I want a pat on the back. To me, being able to give represents we have more than enough. It helps me feel positive and confident. Giving money and sharing blessings is a great source of joy.
4. What Choices Do I Want to Respond With?
· I can choose to see blessings in life and choose to be thankful. I can choose to embrace the world view that includes God’s love, grace and blessings even when I don’t feel like it. It means, in some ways, I want to be like Pollyanna – remember that old movie with Haley Mills? I’d rather focus and believe in the good, because that helps me have more joy in life. I’d rather see the glass as half full – with potential to become totally full again.
· Sometime in the past year, I think it was Meade who sent out an email “believing the better story.” In it, we read scenarios that looked hopeful – a child from Haiti; a daughter recovering in the hospital with an attentive mother -- and then we got more information that showed the situation was much bleaker than it seemed. And what were we to believe? At Christmas we choose to believe the better story – about a God who loves us and wants to be part of our lives. About magi who will travel far and wide to make gifts to a baby of humble birth. When they got to the house where he was, they didn’t say to themselves, “Must be some mistake – this clearly isn’t what we had in mind. We wanted the one who will be King of the Jews.” They chose to believe the better story in spite of the evidence.
· By choosing to give money and service I receive joy. This is how I can follow Jesus. My actions can show that God has been at work in my life -- and still has a lot of work yet to do. Our money can help other people know that God loves them through our actions. My becoming an informed mature Christian helps me understand the commitment I’ve made to follow Jesus. My resources can be given unto others for the sake of Jesus – and what we do unto the least of them, we do that until Christ.
· How many people here, when they first heard that Church of the Saviour expected its members to tithe, thought it was a bit legalistic, peculiar, or scary? Be honest? Were you thinking, “those people must be fanatics or something”? I remember my Aunt Margaret, who didn’t know anything about C of S other than the tithing part, referred to it as a “cult”. She didn’t get it. For some people, tithing is the deal-breaker in becoming a covenant member. But -- we want to be people who love God so much that we feel we have to give to worship and show our love. We want to be people who find joy in giving. We want to be people who care enough about our sisters and brothers that we feel blessed by being a blessing to them. We can make choices to help us become these people.
· When I was six, my parents gave me a quarter for an allowance, and I was expected to put 5 cents into the offering. I became a tither then because my parents taught me that as an expectation, a responsibility, and a privilege. At first I did it as duty, but after awhile, it was simply a habit. I can’t claim any personal credit for it, and I’m thankful I learned this at such an early age. Kirk and I have still had to make choices to continue this habit.
· When I got out of college and got a job paying $450 a month, it didn’t seem like a lot of money. However, that was still a lot more than I had been making. I chose to live very simply. I was able to continue my giving pattern. Even when things have been difficult financially, when I was single or since being married, we have managed to contain other expenses enough to continue giving. I’ve been a fund raiser for a long time, and I say one of the first rules of fund raising is: lower your expenses.
· We can choose to give and help the poorest of the poor. If you have ever spent time in a developing country, you especially realize how very much we have here. That’s when we ask ourselves how can we NOT give money away to ministries that are effectively addressing the problems of extreme poverty for billions of people. If we each gave even a tithe of a tithe to help our sisters and brothers in desperately poor countries, we would change the world. Many years ago when I was a Covenant member at 8th Day, we committed to giving 10% of our budget for work with poor people in other countries. And just think what we could accomplish if we each tithed our estates – and left those gifts for ministries we supported during our lifetimes!
In Closing
· Who has a joint bank account? Before I got married in 1985, I never had a joint bank account. I could spend my money however I wanted. But when I got married, I adapted. Kirk spent from our funds, I spent from our funds. We worked on not bouncing checks. We worked it out. I like to think about having a joint account with God. Everything we own also belongs to God. We usually spend a whole 90%, and often forget God owns all of it with us. From our membership commitment: “God is the total owner of my life and resources. Because God is a lavish giver, I too shall be lavish and cheerful in my regular gifts.”
· I challenge you to accept the love and grace that is poured down upon you by our gracious God. Realize the blessings of life that are all around you. Choose to live in the joy that is before you. Respond to this love however God calls you to respond. We, too, can look at the stars in the sky and know that we also need to give to worship. By hearing God’s call on our lives, and become gracious and generous givers, we ourselves are transformed -- and God transforms the world through us.
Alice Benson attended 8th Day Faith Community 1979 to 1992 as a worshipper, intern and Covenant member. After moving to Gaithersburg, she and her family joined a local church, there, but they still come back to be part of 8th Day several times a year – as well as attending any parties they are invited to!